UK Government Goes MAD: Plans to Airlift Fish to “Cope With Global Warming”.

The British Government appears to have been poisoned with LSD or a similar hallucinogen, and has announced that it will be releasing more than ONE HUNDRED reports on how it intends to cope with global warming.

The first of the reports, due to be released later this week, will lay out plans – apparently in all seriousness – to airlift fish from areas like the lake district hundreds of miles north to Scotland.

As The Ministry of Truth reports:

Fish from the Lake District will be moved to cooler waters in Scotland under radical plans – which will be unveiled this week – aimed at coping with climate change.

The first seven of more than 100 reports by government agencies and utility companies will set out how Britain needs to change to cope with hotter summers and wetter winters. They will highlight the risks – and potential costs – of more landslides, buckled railway lines, crumbling water pipes and rising sea levels threatening lighthouses around the coast. Officials say the studies are needed because levels of carbon emissions mean climate change over the next four decades is unavoidable

Ministry of Truth. Fish Threatened by Global Warming to Be Moved North.

You have to marvel at the complete circularity of the reasoning presented by this palpably barking mad idea. This is necessary because it’s going to get very hot – and why is it going to get very hot? Because of the amount of carbon dioxide being released.

Thus, even though temperatures in the UK have shown no discernible change from normal, despite Co2 emissions going up and up, the government is spending a fortune in taxpayer’s money to fund 100 reports on how we’re going to cope.



20 responses to “UK Government Goes MAD: Plans to Airlift Fish to “Cope With Global Warming”.

  1. This bit jumped out at me: Officials say the studies are needed because levels of carbon emissions mean climate change over the next four decades is unavoidable

    An intriguing and specific time frame. Looks like a concerted push of propaganda to support the 2050 CO2 emissions goals.

    Airlifting fish, my arse. What about the indigenous Scottish fish; Packed off to Iceland?(In breadcrumbs…) Is it any wonder public services and the operation of Government have crumbled to a joke. They’re too busy with these (fish) pie in the sky plans. Far better to use the canal network and herd them there.

    From the Independent article, I read this bit and after every sentence ‘He would say that, wouldn’t he’ sounds most appropriate:

    Malcolm Fergusson, the agency’s head of climate change, said: “Climate change is one of the greatest challenges facing the world today. We are beginning to feel the effects in the UK. It’s important we understand how this changing climate will affect our lives and the environment.

    “The Environment Agency is at the forefront of the fight against climate change, through our work as greenhouse gas emissions regulator and our lead roles on managing flood risk and water resources. But we are also on the front line, helping communities and organisations to be ready to face the consequences of more extreme weather.”

  2. I notice that the story in the Independent is written by “Matt Chorley, Political Correspondent”. Note, not Science Correspondent, or Climate Correspondent. Tells you all you need to know about the real reasons for a “belief” in AGW.

    I’m getting a little tired of all this “you have got to believe, or we will brand you a denier, and put your name on the register”. This whole thing is nothing more than a Belief System. Positively the new-world religion.

  3. “…buckled railway lines…”

    All based on a tenths of a degree change. These arses are going to look pretty foolinsh if we enter a Maunder type Minimum. They refuse to contemplate the possibility of decades of cooling. These people have nailed their flags to the mast and their careers and family livelihood DEPENDS on Co2 causing more warming. Decades of cooling would ruin and destroy many careers and institutions. This is why they are fighting so hard in the face of contrary evidence. Look at Al Gore and the money he has made from this gigantic scam.

    • It’s hardly “their finest hour is it”? As you say, a rise in temperature of less than one degree over a century is not likely to lead to total collapse.

      Pointman (comments, above) says it can be seen as evidence of a psychological disorder. I certainly think this sort of thing in a government can be characterized as “avoidance” behaviour on an institutional scale. Rather than face up to the big problems, they would rather just issue reports on a BS issue that isn’t ever going to be a problem.

      • Well AGW is very attractive to politicians because it makes them seem active and responsive to world problems. They can be seen doing something. Luckily for us, some saner heads stopped and asked, “What will it cost? Will we get the benefit of saving Australia from an increase of 1000th of a degree C by raising billions in tax and wrecking the economy?
        Answer is a clear No.

    • This very good article from the WUWT site explains how the alarmists cannot piossibly be correct because their measurements are inside the measurement error for reading temperature.
      In USA, the temperatures are read in Fahrenheit and are usually reported in even numbers, such as 60F, 62F, 64F simply because of the way the gauges are constructed. Add in reading error and the age of the gauge errors and placement errors and this paper calculates that all gauge readings should be reported as for example 60F+/- 1.1F.
      So for these alarmists to state that the world is going to end because the temperature has risen 0.8C is a furphy. Further they report in terms of 15.55C but it is impossible to measure 0.05C with the equipment used.
      Not only that, even saelitte measurements have to be recalibrated annually, otherwise there measurement inaccuracies inherent in the gauges creep into the measurements.

  4. Even the Daily Mash wouldn’t come up with something so crazy…..

    • I know, I was going to do a satire on this piece, but how could I top the idea of airlifting fish?

      • I doubt even the Johnathan Swift could keep satire up these days. It’s hard to modestly propose anything when supporting mass sterilizations and trillions of dollars of expenses to save a few fish or insects is considered mainstream.

  5. Very high risk to transport a native species, or locally adapted strain to a new area. What parasites and pathogens may be introduced to a new lake or body of water which does not have the natural control or balance in the new area.

    Many species are locally adapted to temperature, nutrient gradients etc. Come a warm summer when they are moved, they may out-compete the local bloodlines, then a cold winter kills off the new comers under conditions to which the natives had adapted.

    Bad idea, hope they listen to some sensible wildlife biologists.

  6. I assume that there will also be a massive government-NGO project to transplant the Loch Ness monster further north as well. That should be done, for the children.

  7. “Fly Fish In”
    Is that another classic by J. R. Hartley?

  8. Brian Johnson uk

    Better still employ a fish whisperer to lead the fish south and thereby avoiding any dangerous pollution and poisoning of the atmosphere by cargo aircraft.

    Another of Cameron’s Crazy Conceptions?

  9. No discernable change from normal in England? Ah, the alarmist bloggers so indignantly spewed, my plot of London and environs was only one locale and thus meaningless. So I added the rest of the very old thermometer records to the affair and they no longer respond when I post my “Don’t Panic” chart, viewable here:

    History is not a Hockey Stick. How can cities not be abruptly warming more than usual if history is one?

  10. It’s not quite the lunatics in charge of the asylum, but the linguists.
    Malcolm Fergusson’s academic qualifications to put him in charge of climate change at the environment agency:

    1980 University of Cambridge
    MA Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic
    1974-1977 University of Cambridge
    BA (Hons) Part I Archaeology and Anthropology; Part II Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic (Upper Second Class)

    Click to access cv-fergusson.pdf

  11. Hmm.

    Mythology re-framed as reality.

    To paraphrase from the quote in the original post

    “Malcolm Fergusson, the agency’s head of climate mythology, said: “Creeping government lunacy is one of the greatest challenges facing the world today. We have been guiding its effects in the UK since the mid 1990s. It’s important we mislead the populace about how this changing climate of insanity will affect their lives and their environment.”

  12. Pingback: Eye on Britain (2)

  13. As far as I can see, 2 species of the large family Salmonidae are involved – the vendace and the schelly:


    At Haweswater [where they are declinig], the fishery officers are now culling all of the cormorants that visit the lake, in order to protect the endangered fish. An analysis of reservoir management data over a 30 year period (1961-1991) has revealed that the decline of the schelly population is associated with increased water abstraction and reduced water levels.

    Vendace (Britain’s rarest fish)

    The declining populations of the fish are thought to be due to introduced species that utilise the native vendace as a food source, and also due to pollution.

    Strange. Neither is attributed to the effects of global warming/climate change/climate disruption etc. etc.

    (I am not an expert – just a few minutes with my friend google)

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